100th post.

Basically, this is my 100th post so I thought I would actually write about something interesting, as I don't really have time to write every night like I wanted to when I first started my blog.

This year so far has been one of the best one's so far, and I know most people say this about every year, but I swear I haven't actually been this happy before. I've had such good things happen to me this year and I am beginning to realise who I am and what I want, which is a first, I'm telling you. I've got a beautiful girlfriend, I've nearly finished school and I have a good future ahead of me. Before that though, I have exams and then a 13 week summer holiday. It is going to be bliss - Sun, sea, girlfriend, alcohol, friends, bbq's, cigarettes and smiles :)

I got home this morning after staying at Devon's on the Friday and Saturday, and just started thinking. Not anything in particular, just the odd thought going round, you know? I miss Devon, have done all day - it's not a nice feeling. I'm talking to Jasmine right now; She does actually fully make me giggle with every post she writes on my wall - it's amazing. I'm also waiting for my Mum and Dad to go out so I can babysit the brother's and their friends, earning dollar of course.

Anyway, I said this post would be interesting; But so far it's been boring. What do I write about for my 100th post? Idea!

100 thoughts;

1. The sun coming through the net curtains is actually pretty nice
2. The fact my parents are going out is such a good thing
3. My eye make-up looks okay today
4. How comfortable I am sitting on the computer chair
5. I'm going to have a nice cold refreshing beer when they go
6. I am going to talk to my girlfriend when they go, on the phone
7. My head is starting to hurt after putting it in two plaits, then putting it in a bun
8. My nails are looking better now they are painted
9. I wish my Dad's voice wasn't so loud sometimes
10. My ankles hurt from all the walking I attempted yesterday
11. They need to leave so I can look at this picture of two girls on this girl's Tumblr
12. Poking myself in the eye was a stupid thing to do
13. Don't stand behind me, it's irritating
14. Seriously just go
15. I haven't actually talked to Devon since 10:30 this morning
16. It would be nice if she text me, even though I can't text back with no credit
17. I have hardly any eyebrows but I don't really care
18. The number 18 is so strange
19. I need to put loud music on when they go
20. They are nearly gone, how nice is that?
21. I should go clear up my drawings that I was doing earlier from off my bed
22. "I'll give it to you later" - of course you will £10 now please!
23. I really want to see that picture, like right now - get out of the front room
24. Why can't I have a computer in my room?
25. It's 6:15? No way
26. I swear all I've done today is sleep
27. I don't like animals - especially not dogs, ducks I like, yes I do
28. Bye! Finally!
29. I don't recognise the girls in the photo on the Tumblr - boring
30. I'm going to turn the TV down, oh wait I'm not - I'm too comfy
31. Wait, it's annoying me now
32. I haven't really done a lot today apart from shower, eat, draw and watch Kick-Ass
33. I need Mum to get me a key cut
34. I can't remember how many exams I have left
35. Time is going slow
36. Oh! I can watch The Mentalist without Mum
37. I think I actually have 14 exams left?
38. I'm hungry but I don't know what to eat
39. No I don't, I have like 9?
40. Oh my shit, my back hurts
41. Where's the paracetamol, mother
42. You are going to get so bored if you read this, but oh well, it's giving me something to do
43. If my brother screams like that again - I might just take a knife and...
44. Socks would be a good thing right now, but once again - I am too comfy
45. I sound proper lazy
46. Tumblr is so boring today
47. Oh my shit, I forgot it's Sunday!
48. I'm going to see how many exams I have left
49. I hate the amount of xbox's in my house
50. I also hate running up the stairs to see that I actually have 9 exams left and it was pointless to run up the stairs, and I nearly tripped
51. Twice
52. MTV bores the shit out of me
53. What is Devon up to right now
54. I fucking hate those "Keep Calm And" things
55. Sugababe's are actually shit
56. I'm a right grumpy sod
57. I'm in pain though
58. I blame EVE
59. Yes, if you understand, it's because you're a clever woman
60. No one interesting is on Facebook
61. I hate it when Mum and Dad go out, because then I have to pretend to give a shit
62. It's kinda cold, but kinda hot
63. I think after I've done this, I'm going to ring Devon because I miss her
64. I have the most perfect girlfriend, you honestly have no idea
65. I want a fag but I ran out yesterday
66. I need that £10 because when I get it - it's going on cigarettes
67. Having Sky+HD isn't actually that amazing
68. Oh my fuck that girl is hot
69. Okay, I'm done
70. Seventy.. Sev..en..tee.
71. I wonder what time the rentals will actually be home
72. It's bank holiday Monday, ah that means Dad is home tomorrow
73. I guarantee they just get lashed up and come home and make me tidy up or something tomorrow morning and 'help' and she'll make a roast dinner on a Monday, and I will bitch and moan at her because she's an idiot
74. I guarantee I've spelt like everything in this wrong
75. Seriously - Facebook is shit on a Sunday
76. Might just go upstairs again and watch a film, with a cold beer
77. What time is my brother coming home? Oh well, fuck it
78. The sun is actually making me smile
79. I'm smiling
80. I need a cuddle from Devon
81. Might just ring her up and be like "Do you fancy a walk?" then get her to walk here haha
82. I'm so tired
83. Not got a lot planned for half term but people were talking about getting high? Would be nice, lovely lads
84. My hair is so retarded
85. I'm not going to prom, when even is it? I want the after party
86. Weekend has been really lovely actually
87. This is taking forever
88. I just chat shit, all the time, I swear to actual fuck
89. Why is it that there is like 283937593439 music channels on Sky but every single one is on an advert?
90. Ah I love this song, have to keep reminding myself to download it - I love Vampire Weekend
91. I need some new songs on the iPod actually
92. Could do that tonight
93. I am quite self-obsessed by the sound of things
94. Oh the time on my hands today/tonight is slightly ridiculous
95. Dizzee Rascal is lovely and I am supposed to be gay
96. I want a tattoo
97. I can't wait for summer now, this song just makes me want to sit on the beach in the sun
98. I love my friends, my life and whatnot
99. Ninety nine is probably my favourite number, not even joking
100. And finally, my last thought of today, well you know what I mean, (because it's not like I'm not going to think again after this) I LOVE VAGINAAAAA

Joking ;) Anyway, thanks for reading if you did.
Lots of love, take care <3

99

I cry at everything.

That's a lie.

I cry at nothing.

That's a lie.

So, why do I cry then?

Give me a reason, because I can't think of a single reason to cry.

My Weekend.

I've had such a good weekend, seriously.
On the Saturday, I went to Brighton with Hayley, Jess and Maryanne.
I got some clothes then we got food and sat in the Pavilion Park for a cigarette and a chat.
When I got home, Devon came to mine and we had a talk, cuddle etc and we eventually left to walk back to hers so I could stay the night :)
Sunday - our 4 month anniversary, was purely just.. wow.
I actually adore this girl and she shows me that it is possible to love more than I could've ever imagined, everyday of my life.
I love you, Devon Holland - always, forever and a day.

I haven't written in ages!

Because Tumblr still has me in it's hands; but I will start writing a lot more, soon!

Recently though, I've had no inspiration.
But I'm not going to go on a downer, I have happy times ahead of me!
And this weekend should be amazingly good, if all goes to plan.

Happy Birthday World, have a great day x

Wow.

So, OHAI!
I hope you're all doing well :)
I haven't posted in ages as Tumblr seems to be the hot spot and blog spot, just isn't.
Went to Char's BBQ last night, was so good with such a great group of people.
Words to descrbe the night:
Afroman, weed, drunk, BBQ, smiles, gee-tar, girlfriend, Vernon, sheesha, menthol's, grass stains, hearty chats, kisses, cuddles, Dave, Adrian, ketchup, fisherman's chair, mum chat, laughter, mattress, beanbag, 'apprehensive' shorts, dragon, vauxhall, home time.

It was bloody good!
And today, with the girlfriend, I shall be at another BBQ ;)
SEE Y'ALL LATER. x

Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately.

I've been thinking, I haven't blogged in forever because basically - things are good!
I have nothing to rant about, or even just bitch on the sly to the blogging world about.
I mean, there's no problem with this - but the minority of us know, reading about other people's tragedy is more fun than reading about how happy they are, because of course the best things come from the blogger's that bitch and moan (my opinion entirely, I think)
Anyway, I swear all I've done is sleep, shower and eat at the girlfriend's house this whole week - her mother must be sick of me. It's so strange coming back home and getting into my own bed though.
I keep expecting to be snuggled into from behind, or feel an affectionate hand on my hips, sides, thigh etc. I even expect that when I turn over, I'll see her laying there, just thinking and breathing beautifully. I even spent Easter in her bed because I slept there on the Saturday and then went back that night.
It's now Friday (still in the mind-set for Thursday though, obviously) and I slept at Dee's on the Wednesday.
Thursday was so lush, and that's not even a joke. Dee, Josh, Sam and I went to the beach for the day, just chilling out in the sun, on the stones, smoking (filthy, I know) and laughing as you do.
It was so lovely, to just not care. I didn't give a thought to anything bar where I would place my head and my hands when I was laying down with Dee and Josh.
It was one of those days where you just didn't want it to end, and you don't want to go home.
I felt utterly out of it all day though, and by the time my Mother made me walk to the train station to be picked up - I was in one of the worst moods I've been in for a while.
Dee walked me there and waited with me for a bit. I didn't want to go home. But I couldn't be in such an awful mood around her, though she says she doesn't mind - I just feel as if It's unfair, you know?
Anyway, getting home and putting washing away, then unpacking my bag and finally getting into my PJ's, I felt relaxed - like I could breathe almost.
Mother cooked a curry, but I sat at the table with my head swaying. Although, I did join in with the banter around the dinner table.
As soon as I start to get comfortable, as I lay on my bed in the dark with my iPod on, I start to have mad crazy thoughts because I miss Dee so much. I love her because she keeps me at my sanest.

OH MY GOD.
I never oh my god, but seriously!
Blogging world - hello :')
My mum told my dad that I'm gay whilst I was out with Dee and Sam. She then rang me to 'warn' me that he wasn't happy and that I should probably avoid him as he basically hates me because I put him through so much shit such as being a vegetarian (which he was for 2 years of his life!) and being a psycho, and not talking to anyone in my house (haha) and now I'm a LESBIAN.

"I'm not a lesbian, I just happen to have a girlfriend"
"You're so confusing"
"You love it"
On-going conversation, it's fine.

Today though, he hasn't exactly looked me properly in the eye - but he's had a few jokes with me, so all is well. It's just my mum trying to stir shit up, I think.
Anyway, aha! Not that exciting, but my dad knows! So basically, it's out. Nothing on my conscience, apart from the fact that dad is 'hurt' that I didn't approach him and mum about it 'before telling the whole of facebook' Mums words entirely.

Jesus effing Christ. I'm tired! So I should probably log off everything and go to sleep!
Busy day tomorrow, as I have to finish (somehow) painting my dress, do revision and do some more art prep, which I utterly can't be bothered with - but it has to be done.
MOTIVATION, I think so!

Have beautiful weekends xo

Sunny Girlfriend Chocolate Love.

I can't believe it is sunny today and all I am doing is sitting at the computer, half attempting to eat some chocolate and listening to the faint sound of the football in the background.
Luckily though, I woke up next to my girly this morning after spending the night with her and Joshie and Sam and Lauran.
It wasn't all so lovely last night though, oh no! Dee was sick because of the 1/4 bottle of rum she downed to herself. I can't deal with sick - it makes me.. well, feel sick. Thankfully though, Joshua could cope and he was the saviour.
I wish I could've been the saviour, but all I could do was laugh and try not to gag.
I felt like a failure to her - like I proved that I can't help. I felt utterly useless, but I just couldn't do anything to make it better.
I cried too, not because she was being sick (though it got to me), but because the alcohol made my insecurities come out to play and Joshua just knows what to say. He's a good lad.
As is Sam, whom I talked to about stuff to when it was just him and I in Josh's bedroom.
When we got back to hers at 11 o clock at night after Josh and Sam walked us home - She stumbled about, trying not to wake her parents up, and brushed her teeth like a mad woman (Maybe too much information, but it needs to be said for the rest of this to sound less-disgusting) and used mouth wash, as did I.
Laying in her arms after an hour of "Give me an hour, and I'll be fine" we kissed and snuggled into each other. Feeling her against me is the feeling I will never forget. I love the way we touch, it fills me with such sensations that I can't speak nor think. And the loving.. just wow.
I love waking up and not saying anything, then being surprised when her arm falls across my tummy and makes its way to my hand, with our backs still facing each other.

Right now I can see a tiny bit of sun in my back garden, where my cat is sitting in. It has been quite a beautiful day today, yet the only fresh air I got today was getting in and out of the car.
Oh well, I want to see D again - so I might persuade mother to take me over.

Hope you all have a wonderful week ahead and have a lovely Easter Day xo

Wednesday,

I’m going to start off by saying how much I hate being ill - but it’s okay because I have super noodles, summer fruits drink and Neon Hitch in my ears. Wednesday’s are shit. Hump day? It’s just.. awful.It rained a bit, was proper windy all day and my textiles teacher basically hates me.She doesn’t get what having no confidence does to people.Oh I swear my insecurities will hold me back forever.Or as Eminem says “My insecurities will eat me alive”I need a cuddle or something, it’s nicht so gut.And I am deciding on whether going in to do textiles all day tomorrow on the first day of the holidays would be a good thing, since I have 19 days to make a dress and evaluate it.I love my girlfriend. I love how she tries, no matter how she’s feeling, to deal with me. She’ll hate that I say the word ‘deal’ as she thinks that she doesn’t have to ‘cope’ with me, as she loves me and that’s what she’s there to do - but it’s not fair on her. But she does make me happier. I just wish I did the same for her. Uh. Well, I’m going to change the song now, eat some noodles and whine about my life to some one else. Love x

Monday.

When I woke up, I was happy. It was dark because the clocks went forward and last night I had the cutest conversations with D and some lovely chats with Sam.
I was looking forward to school, until I saw my face in the mirror - ergh, I hate my skin.
Then the whole day was awful, and the last part was by far the worst.
I'm going to not moan - I'm dealing with it :)
XO

Uh, Tonight - Yes PLEASE.

Party tonight, lovers.
I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay awake though, as I slept at Dee's last night, but didn't actually fall asleep until 4am just gone.
Tonight, there's a party @ Josh's :) It's going to be good, at his mum's flat, with like 100 people, people that are actually ALRIGHT.
Lewis just said I could meet him at 7 tonight, because hardly any of us know where this flat is! It should be a funny night - as I am one of the lads and it's going to get 'messy' ahah, oh dear fuck :') I make myself laugh..
Plus I'm going to be sleeping at Dee's again tonight.

Oh and I found a good remix today by WTCC (WasteTimeChasingCars) on YouTube, as I subscribed to him and have not since regretted it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXo-6d2awOY&feature=sub
Have a good weekend, lovely lovely people XO

My Doctor's Trip.

Wow, who knew going to the Doctor's could give me so much to blog about!
Firstly, I would just like to say - I got my prescription ;)
Secondly, I want to tell you all about the people I shared a waiting area with.
So, here we go.
When my mother and I arrived at the surgery, there were about 5 different sets of people all waiting to see various doctor's, as you do. There was a couple next to us, who obviously had no problem with saying exactly what they thought in public. There was a giant of a man, who was sitting reading Reveal. There was a woman with lovely cared for hair, but looked like the "I fell off and seriously injured my fringe" woman. There was also a woman who kept getting up to change her seat and lastly, there was a woman in a wheelchair with a carer, but the woman was blind and deaf and kept saying "I can't see" and "What's that noise". It was awful, because I felt so sorry for her. She didn't have a clue what was going on and to top it off, her carer looked like a cartoon hippo! She was a right monster and kept telling the elderly lady that she needed to sit and be quiet. I just kept looking at my mum as if to say "What a bitch!" and my mum would roll her eyes.
I was getting impatient when everyone was seeing their Doctor's, but I was still in the same seat, feeling like shit. Later on, another couple came in after those 5 had gone and the woman's voice was all husky and lovely and her husband made me think of him sitting in the middle of a lake, fishing 'till his heart was content. So cute!
It turns out, I was half an hour early, but still sat there for 50 minutes! And then my appointment only lasted 5 minutes at the maximum, no word of a lie.
Now I'm sitting at my computer, my mum has gone back to work, I'm home alone, with my PJ's on, drinking tea with a hat on. I think I may go take a rest now - what a hectic morning ;) XO

I don't like being ill.

I'm not at school today as I was in a right state last night, because I felt so shit.
It came out of nowhere. I was happy all day, well as happy as I can deal with - then I went to art after school and suddenly it hit me. My head went weird, I felt sick and I just needed to go home.
After a 20 minute wait for my mum to come and pick me up, I had to wait in the car park of Iceland, fun! But at least she brought me food with her. When I got home, I just got into bed.
I haven't felt that awful - like, I just couldn't cope anymore - in a very long time.
I cried so much, it was ridiculous and it took everything out of me.
So today, waking up - I just got a shower, felt even worse and asked mum if I could just get back into bed. The worst part of it all today, on top of feeling like this, I have to go to the Doctor's anyway to ask to be put on the pill. Aha, it's funny because my brother was like "But she's a lesbian! She won't get pregnant!" I found it hilarious anyway. But the reason I am being asked to be put on it is to regulate me, hopefully for exams and it won't stress me out knowing it's coming. Anyway, that's lovely! But oh so true.
I'm going to go and lay down now. I love you all xo

I Love You Phillip Morris,

Best film I have seen in a while. So sweet, so beautiful, so weird and wonderful, and best of all it made me laugh and cry. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor are just stunning.
Also, I got to catch up with Hayley which was utterly lovely :))! I love and miss her.

Goodnight XO

I was also tagged in this photo on Facebook tonight too from the other day when we were sat on the field at lunchtime in the sun. I LOVE DEVON.

Ohai Monday. Oh that rhymed!

I can't believe it's Monday again already!
And I'm sure I say this every Monday - But seriously, I have to do a controlled piece of German coursework today, and I am in no way prepared for it.
Save me? I will love you forever, trust me.
But you should wish me luck <3

Anyway, the only good thing about today is that I get to see my girl.
Have a good day xo

Weekend.

I have had a lovely weekend :)
Even though I felt pretty awful, in pain etc - D has managed to make this weekend pretty special. Saturday I went to hers, then we met up with some people, and then being the total brat I am, she took me back to hers because I didn't feel very well. She is my saviour, to be honest! Proper looks after me, and I love her for it. I don't really deserve her as she's too good to me. Anyway, today, she came to mine and we had another lazy day. Watched lesbian vampire killers, listened to music, chilled, talked, kissed, cuddled, watched more awful tv etc. She makes Sunday's worth it!
It's a shame I didn't get to see Hayley, but we plan to go to the cinema at some point during this week! Which should be bloody good as we deserve a de-stress session.
Anyway, hope your weekends were just as lovely and your week ahead is just as good! xo

Blog Award.

Thanks to "Newbo" I have my first blogger award!

The rules of the award are:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 5 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

1. I love writing, I love being able to write because I have the ability due to schooling and perseverance.

2. I will never dye my hair :)

3. I am utterly in love with my girlfriend, and I always will be - no matter what anyone thinks.

4. I live in my PJ's and I'm really lazy :')

5. I love weekends where one day I am at my girlfriend's house all day, then the next day she's at mine. But then as soon as she goes - I miss her like a mad woman!

6. I'm too nice for my own good at times, but that's because I take into account that other people's feelings are more important than my own.

7. I hope to have many amazing experiences in my lifetime.

So my 5 bloggers are:

.WEAR ME OUT. - she makes me smile quite a bit.
At the edge of the ocean - she's different :)
KNITLIFE - the pictures she posts are amazing.
The Weird & Wonderful - i love her.
..this modern love. - - just wow :')

XO

"When I was 15, I sat in my girlfriend's bedroom and the world was none the wiser.."

I love coming to Devon's. It's quiet, peaceful. It gives me space to think, even if my heart is racing due to the fact being in her company makes me want to scream. It's surreal. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the fact that if and when I get older, I will have memories with this girl and like they say; "the best part of a memory is making it." Hope you're having gorgeous saturday nights. XO

Weekend Special - Music, Hair + My Coming Out Story - Lushhh.

I was just thinking, as I sit in my Pyjamas on this Saturday morning (Yes morning, I am awake before 12!) of how many music artists can make me; tingle. I love that word, I love feeling like it too. Yes tingle.
It's the sensation that feels so much better when I'm with Dee. But it's nowhere near as perfect as it is when I'm with her, mind you. So, singers that make my legs go to jelly and my head feel heavy, my arms go numb and my face hurts from smiling;

1. Regina Spektor - I heard of her when I was in Year 8, so I was around 13. I was on MySpace one day and a gay guy that I was friends with had the song 'Fidelity' by her on his profile. I instantly fell in love, and didn't understand why I hadn't heard of her until that day. I quickly started downloading and learning the lyrics and then as the time went on bought two albums and downloaded the others. I will always love her beautiful voice and fantastic lyrics. If I had an idol, it would be her. No doubt about it.

2. Santogold - When I was in Year 9, I turned 14 in the July and instantly bought her album from Zavvi in Brighton with Hayley. I listened to it over and over, each song filled me with joy and some sort of gorgeous emotion. It was my summer album, and recently I found a stunning remix by DJ Mehdi, of Lights Out and I fell in love with it. It's made me want summer to come even quicker too! Santi White is definitely an inspiration.

3. Lykke Li - She's so beautiful and talented. I would marry her music in a heartbeat. Her voice is so strong, but so subtle and the tones to her voice make me tingle! I can't help but either cry or smile until I can't feel my face anymore when I'm listening to her beautiful melodies. She certainly is an interesting charachter and a fantastic songwriter. Such a great artist.

4. Kid Cudi - Now I know what you're all thinking. Kid Cudi? Because of that god awful song he did with Crookers? But no, that's not why I love him. His songs are full of amazing different stories that are upbeat and make my 'heart' feel joy. The song Up, Up and Away makes me feel vibrant and re-freshed. And when I hear Down & Out, it makes me feel a little lower. But that's why I love him - he makes me feel something.

5. Lady Gaga - So it's not her music that I'm inspired by, nor her clothes but her dancing. I don't know why, but when I see her dance in her videos, something comes over me and I can't help but love her! Her music is pretty exciting, but it's not for me, though they are catchy and I find myself humming them through lessons. I only like her clothes when she has little on, but I won't go any further than that! She's talented, and an inspiration to girls (and boys) and I hope she does more then well in her lifetime.

So they are my five favourite artists and I'm not bothered if you do not agree, as every one's opinion is different. :)

Next thing I want to write about is my hair. I love people who try to be polite about my hair. Nowadays I'm not phased by the colour it is, as it makes up part of who I am. "You know Ashleigh, the ginger one" Yes, that is me and I wouldn't dye my hair to spite anyone. I had it cut yesterday and I was really upset beforehand because it had grown so long and I didn't want it to be all chopped off, but when I came home, dried and straightened it, I fell in love with it. It's healthier, tidier and it's not too short!

Oh and I love how I've never told my 'coming out' story to BlogSpot before. Well I'm sure I haven't. So I'll tell you. It's not much of a story as such, but it was a big thing for me, if you like. So, I knew from the age of 11 that girls were pretty hot and that it was 'wrong' to like them in that way. I didn't tell anyone of course because at the age of 11 it was the whole 'going up to big school and making new friends' stage of life. I remember getting to Year 9 and telling my closest friend's that I thought I liked girls, which of course was weird but did nothing to our friendships. Last year, I told more new people in my life that I was Bisexual. They thought it was pretty cool and no one minded and I felt somewhat accepted already, so when it came to 'coming out' with my girlfriend this year, I lost no friends and the amount of 'likes' and 'comments' on the 'relationship change' on Facebook was lovely aha! Then of course going to school on the Monday, I walked through the door of my tutor and the first comment from my friend Jess was "Are you dyking out with Devon" because of course, I kept mine and Devon's 'thing' quiet with only Hayley knowing the ins and outs of everything. Before Devon and I got together properly though, in October our friend had a birthday party with two other boys and basically everyone I was friends with and talked to went. Devon and I had known about our feelings about each other since May because one of her closest friend's had told me she liked me but would never admit it, so I told her I liked her. I guess it was curiosity, but I did have some feeling's for her and wondered what would develop if she told me the truth. To my surprise she told me she had liked me for a while and soon after, the feeling's between us both did grow and I even told her I was in love with her. Of course, we had the society/school/parents thing hanging over us and we didn't do anything about it. We met up secretly but that was as far as it went, as out relationship was basically over Facebook. So going back to the party.. That night we had our first kiss. We were both pretty drunk, so it wasn't a confidence thing. But as the night went on, I ended up crying at her because she is one of those people who can't properly express her emotions. The Monday at school after that weekend was so awkward. We resolved things and the relationship moved on. It was only until February of this year that we got together properly, and I love growing and learning new things with D. She's my anchor, my first love - and no matter how tacky that sounds, it is true. I love how also; I 'asked' Devon to be mine whilst we were standing on a pathway between tree's, whilst it was lashing down with rain, underneath my umbrella. My exact words were "So do you wanna be my girlfriend?" In the most high-pitched voice I could possibly imagine, because I was so nervous and giggly. To my amazement she accepted ;) I'm so romantic, aren't I? Anyway, I came out to my Mother two weeks after getting together with Devon. I always knew I'd be able to tell my Mum as she is one of those people to accept things even if it messes with her head for a bit. That night, she didn't believe me. I told her after school, whilst eating a sausage roll (ironic?) I had to show her my Facebook for her to understand. It was weird. I remember thinking "Have I just fucked up my whole relationship with my mum?" So I went out. I just walked. I went to Hayley's and told her about it and it made me feel so much better. Then when I got home, my Mum was acting exactly as if I hadn't told her, and that's when I knew things would be okay! I also loved that when I told her she said "Well atleast you can't get pregnant" and "I should have never of let you play football" :') She urge's me sometimes to tell my Dad, but he's a traditional man and I can't figure him out. I'm his little girl, first born. I'm supposed to get good grades and have a family later on. Make him proud you know? He's always said he'd support me in whatever I wanted to do, like when I used to play football etc. I'd love to tell him, but I don't know. And that's the worst part. That 'not knowing' But I'm sure I will eventually tell him and I will feel better for it. I don't want people to think it's a phase just because I am 15. It's not a phase. I know I like girls, and it isn't going to just go away with age. When I know something, I know it, and that's it.

Anyway, I think I've talked too much and you probably gave up half way through reading this, but I don't mind. I felt as if I needed to write it :) Hope you all have beautiful weekends, you beautiful people XO

For Summer,

I want my hair to look like Florence's in this picture! Plus I think the girlfriend would love me even more if I was to look a little bit more like her ;) Just sayin' xo

Gaga, girlfriend and other lovely stuff.

So I finally caved in and watched the 9+ minutes of Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce - Telephone.
I'm so glad I did - LADY GAGA IS SO FUCKING HOT.
I've fallen further in love with her, no word of a lie.
The song was and is awful - but the video, I just wouldn't say no!
I loved the bit at the beginning with the two butch guards too;
"I told you she didn't have a dick"
"Yeah, lucky for her"
Ah I'm so obsessed with Gaga, you have no idea.

So me and the girlfriend are back to normal, which is fucking lush. I hate 'falling out' with anyone, especially some one I am crazily in love with. It was over pretty much nothing too and it's just not the time you want to be falling out with some one you pretty much have as your anchor. I love her and she loves me, and I love that.
Today we were by the 'lunch room' kissing and the deputy head walks past going "Get off to class, lovers" then realised we were both girls, didn't say anything, D walked off and I went to German - then to my horror - he's observing the lesson! It was so awkward, and I could tell he felt uncomfortable because every time I looked up, he would put his head down and he didn't come over to me and Fraizer to talk to us about our grades.
Anyway, I am getting really into the art exam project now, just finishing a composition and then I will begin to do some observational drawing. It's so exciting and I feel so free, it's brilliant. I am still aiming for a top B, as I'm on a B at the moment, but it could be better. So I'm hoping this exam project will shift me up to the higher end of a B.
Yesterday I found a baby picture of me (well I was around 4) in my dad's mum's garden. I was so chubby! But so sweet and innocent, as you are at that age.
I had a gold locket and my hair all weird. Yeah thanks mum. I was actually quite pretty as a bubba, aha! Hard to believe nowadays.
So I showed the girlfriend, and she was all "Awww that's so effing cute, it's unreal" Aha, I love Dee.
So yes, this has been one of the longest posts I've done in a while.
It's been lovely.
Oh and my song of the week has got to be;- Memories by David Guetta ft Kid Cudi.
I hope you're all having wonderful weeks :) XO

I might like you better if we slept together,

and lord isn't that the truth!

Monday, OHAI.
A week to get out of the way, to lead onto another week and so on;
with pressure, etc etc.

I need to sort out my relationship today, oh yay!
D tried calling me several times last night, but I hung up alot.
Oh dear.
I'm a mess!

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS.
We've all been here, right?

HAVE A GOOD DAY, YOU SMASHING BUNCH.
xo

Hi, this is your Doctor calling, you've got a routine che-..

7:35am.
Ashleigh is sitting at the computer, in uniform, eating marmite on toast and drinking a cup of tea. She is writing a new post, and then she will be off upstairs to straighten her hair.

Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
Friday.

REPEAT. REPEAT. REPEAT.

Routine is a good thing, don't get me wrong - no one could live without it (I certainly couldn't)But after a while, you seem to just want to break the mould and do something a bit different. Unfortunately, this can't be helped, as I'm up at 6ish ever day, showering, doing my make up, getting dressed, drying my hair, making breakfast, packing bag, straightening my hair, teeth brushed, more make up, out of the door - SCHOOL.

I can't wait for college, it's going to be so much more easier when it comes to getting out of the door, because I only have to rely upon myself!

Anyway, better finish my toast and get my backside upstairs!
Hope you all have a good day XO

Iyur, I'm Just A Big 'LESBIANNN' Moan.

Not speaking to her for a whole night is taking its toll.
Shit. I miss her. How ridiculous? Uh, I need her.
Anyway, today was awful as it was the double science, double maths and English day. No one likes these days, I tell you! Aha, and in maths it's just practice exams.
I should stop moaning, but I really can't be arsed with anything.
Tomorrow is going to be shit too because I have double science again, and history! FML :')
And today some sket made a comment, which made me laugh, but also feel like "just accept it you cunt" Anyway, I won't go on about gay rights lmao! I don't really care, all I know is that I have a girlfriend and she makes me ridiculously happy.
Been watching Summer Heights High all night, it's so shit, but it's like, you have to watch it.
But yeah, at least I get to see her tomorrow though..
GOODNIGHT xo

My Weekend Was Lovely, How Was Yours?

This weekend, as in Friday to right now, has been a mixture of emotions. No tears, but a slightly deranged concoction of, just, wow. Friday was Lois' party, at which there was obviously alcohol. No hangover, a massive smile on my face and love buzzing around my body. That's best described as perfect in my mind. Then there was the massive getting up on a Saturday morning to do coursework - Which I did! Up at 10, doing History and Science coursework, getting it done, being happy. Later on my parents had friends over and I was in my bedroom when BAM! a million ideas for the art exam hit me like a a thirty tonne train and I just knew that I was onto a positive thing. Tonight I got to see the girlfriend too, which always makes me extraordinarily happy. I will go on about her now; Devon, makes me the happiest girl. And I know everyone says that about the person they are dating/seeing, but she does. I only have to feel her near me, and that's it, I'm completely in awe. She makes the most retarded, but cutest faces in the world, and I adore her. She makes me feel comfortable, which is the most important thing to me. She makes me feel loved, always, anytime of the day - she gives me sensations that I can't even explain. I am utterly, completely and truly in love with Devon.
Anyway, I should sign off Facebook, make my lunch then get into bed.
Hope you all had beautiful weekends! xo

Ohai, I Love Santi White.

I will love this woman until I die, honestly. Her music excites me, her voice inspires me and the remixes of her songs absolutely knock me off my chair, adore her, completely.
Lights Out - Santogold (Dj Medhi Remix) <3 It's stunning and has got me ridiculously excited for summer! God bless, Santi White.

Hope you are all having a darling weekend ;) XO

Jasmine, You Make Me Smile.

Monday wasn't too bad, but we'll see how the week goes.
I feel like a bitch this week.
A real, big, fuck off, huge BITCH.
XO

Monday, sodding.. morning.

Uh, I can't find my PE top, which is a silly thing to get stressed over, but it adds to more and more worries of a monday fucking morning. Why couldn't it be where I wanted it to be? Why wasn't it washed by the mother? Where the fuck is it in fact.
Wow.
Is this what my blog has become?
A moan about my PE top.
I'll probably lose followers or something.
Dear fuck.
Is this what my life has become?
No.
Just.. woah.

Anyway.
Have a good week!
xo

And Don't You Let Me Go, Tonight.

As I type, the beautiful Lykke Li sings inside my computer screen, her stunning voice echoing inside my front room.
I can hear the buzzing of a car outside and my brother shouting at the XBOX.
Doesn't it make you think? Your ears, so delicate, so relied upon, let you listen to the most beautiful of things..

Tonight I'm off to hers.
I will let her know that I'm not a bitch and I can be nice sometimes.
I guarantee I will go into one of those moods though.
I can't help it. I get stuck. Stuck? Yes, I physically come to a stop, whereas my mind races and races.
In my mind it is because I'm in love. In her mind it's because I'm just a twat?

And tomorrow? I might be going out with some people for a beloved person's birthday.
My weekend should be lush!

Anyway, I hope you all have fabulous weekends. xo

Jasmine Drury, This Is For You.

Well.
What would we do without her?
She can talk black, stare into space and do the 'sad face'.
To be honest, if I didn't have her in my life - I don't know where I'd be ;)
She comes into school for Jess, Hayley and I when she's feeling ill and gives me giggles when we eat our lunch, by telling me her crisps smell like BLUE WAFFLE.
We sit in textiles on Fridays and bitch, curse and laugh.
What would we do without her?
Simple, we wouldn't be able to live ;)
And asif I'm going to wish you luck on getting to sleep tonight! ;)
BUT THEN YOU WON'T COME IN ;[ OH MY GOD, SLEEEEEP WOMAN!
HOPE THAT'S OKAY, JASMINGE.
<3

HELLO 70TH POST, I'm Ashleigh.

Today was average. An average day, with average faces, average lessons and average moods. It rained once again, then got sunny, then rained. Patterns like that depress me. Also, at lunch time 'we' couldn't go in the 'lunch time room' because it's basically a complete and utter mess, so we had to go outside with some girls and freeze my tits off. Nice ay?

I really should do my German, whilst I'm at the computer - but that means going upstairs to get all my work and having to read German; which of course I don't understand. Good god, why did I have to choose it for a GCSE?!

Anyway, this is my 70th post. How exciting?
And by doing this, I thought I'd give it a nice 70's feeling..


How I would've loved to live through a different era.

GOODBYE. xo

Tea & Toast Makes Everything Better.

I'm feeling so much lighter tonight after a long sleep (4-7) after school, then clearing my head and getting on with science coursework.
I'm also just generally in a good mood, which is nice because I can properly talk to Devon without crying at her or something via Facebook!
I'm also now finishing my cup of tea and watching De Ja Vu, which is one of my all time favourite films! I just love Denzel Washington.
I'm struggling with a headache though and thinking I should definitely begin wearing my glasses properly or I will suffer.
Anyway, I have found my love once more for Lykke Li and will be shortly listening to her as soon as I get off Facebook, stop blogging and De Ja Vu finishes.
Goodnight, sleep tight - xo

Do Not Read.

It's one of those nights.
I'm completely alone when I feel like this. Completely unhappy, unsatisfied, pathetic and worst of all - useless.
I even tried telling her. Why did I do that? Putting my fucked up little unimportant 'problems' on other people - who do I think I am? It's disgraceful, uncaring, cruel and unfair.
I need to sort out my head, I'm just a wreck. One day I'm fine, next I'm a mess. And for what reason? Well, you tell me..

Saturday.

Home alone, iPod on, TV muted, drinking blackcurrant, eating a cupasoup, feeling lonely, wrapped in a blanket, waiting for something good to come on the TV, not bothered by the volume of my music, not arsed about what my hair looks like, too hot, too cold, moods not brilliant, ready to cry, welling up.

Perfect Saturday. I promise - xo

Beach, Skins, Bed.

Beach party was pretty awful! After some drinking, talking and laughing, I ended up walking to dee's.

I also had to wait to watch skins till just now because mother was watching some shit about the 'REAL ER' which made me want to die!
But yeah, skins <3 made me friggin' well upset! Ahaha, just wish the girls would kiss and make up too ;D

I'm way tired now too, drinking + cold + walking = death.
And tomorrow, I have to be up early to go see my bab and the other wreckheads ;)

And Tayler is such a frickin' sweetheart;
1:16am Tayler
like i know, we live far far far apart. but you're my biggest girl crush(:

Anyway, I'm off to bed. I love you all <3

Your Love Is My Drug,

So today I have done absolutely nothing, and to be honest - I don't even feel that guilty. It's annoyed me that I can't do this coursework as I'm too thick, but I'm not going to stress myself out too much to the point where I am pulling my hair out. I'll just have to work proper hard and get as much help as I can when I go back to school, because I want to do well. I have to do well.

Anyway, Ke$ha - Your Love Is My Drug, is actually an alright song. I liked her before Tik Tok got big, bee tee double-you.

My friends think I've gone crazy, my judgements getting kinda hazy;
My esteem is gonna be affected, if I keep it up like a lovesick crackhead.

I Want To Look Like Gaga,

She's so hot :')!
I will never look like Gaga - But I can try and look f i e r c e.

Pain, Moods, Work, Entertainment.

I've got up today with the worst pain in my back you could ever imagine to have. It's like I've been repeatedly thrown into a brick wall or something. It's not nice, as I can't turn around without wanting to die. I love being such a drama queen - but it does hurt.

I'm also in the strangest of moods. Hungry and bored. It's not a good mixture of emotions in my head either, it's making me feel quite sea-sick. I don't know what's up. There's nothing up. I've had an alright weekend, but today I'm just.. not in the mood? I guess I'm alright though?

Earlier I tried to get on with some work, but I'm just not in the mood for it. I have to do a history essay about the relations between the USA and USSR etc and I have to do the first draft of my coursework for science, which is making me want to die because it's the most boring topic they could've thought to have picked. And to top it off - I have to finish, at some point, some art work. There's a textiles day on Wednesday, but I'm not in the mood to go in - plus Jas won't be there, so I'll be alone, in a room, with a bunch of skanky chavs and a dizzy blonde teacher who doesn't know her arse from her elbow.

I want to get out of the house to be honest, but there's not a lot you can do when you live a beastly walk away from friends. Facebook is boring me to tears too, so really the only options I have for any entertainment today are; get on with history, do science, or simply sleep, moan or cry. There is utterly nothing to do. How I wish I was motivated enough to live.

Hope the week brings you joy, xo

Sunday, Valentines, Sunday.

I'm not a complete "It's just another day.." type of person, I mean - people can believe in what they want to believe, even my parents exchanged cards and kisses, so it's like.. hey, think how you want I guess.
But when people only show that they love some one, or make the effort once a year - that's just not right in my books.
Love is love. Yes we know. And love should be expressed in every single moment of the time you are with that person, or not. I'm not saying you should be completely obsessed with that person, but enough to make sure that they know that what you have between you, is in fact love.
I'm new to love, so I wont stress my opinions too much - But when I'm with Devon, the sensations that fill me inside are the most extraordinary feelings anyone could ever feel. And I'm myself around her, she makes me feel important, she makes me feel as if I couldn't do anything wrong and doesn't even make me feel awkward when I have to sort out my period! Ahah, how lovely - but that's how we are. She keeps me smiling, and without her.. well, I don't even want to try and imagine it.
So, happy love day you sods - I hope you all had a beautiful day with the loved ones.
I know that I will definitely be falling asleep with a smile upon my face tonight.
Xx

MOAN, and not the good kind.

FOR FUCK FUCKING SAKE, WITH MORE FUCK ON FUCKING TOP.
Right, now that that is out of my system..
I can't believe that I've just come on my period! Yes! My period, and Yes, I am admitting this to the blogging world. Valentines tomorrow with the girlfriend was supposed to be lovely, you know? Now I won't be able to relax, concentrate or even bother.

Also, I'm babysitting because my parents have decided to go out on the lash. Brilliant, I know. It's not exactly how I pictured this weekend, but who gives a shit about how I feel in this god-for-saken-house.

And some more moaning; I've just burnt the mother-fucking roof of my mouth on melted chocolate! The chocolate that was supposed to cheer me up a bit! But oh no, it has to go and make me like blister! Uh, disgusting. Utterly, completely disgusting.

But yeah, have a good valentines you jammy sods - xo

Music Mix & Moans.

You can lie between her legs and go looking for,
Tell her you're searching for her soul ♥


I have a pretty good playlist going on at the moment;

Cross Your Fingers - Laura Marling
The Cult Of Romance - Fenech-Soler
Coconut Skins - Damien Rice
Foreground - Grizzly Bear
The Cave - Mumford & Sons
Keep Me Warm - Ida Maria
Every Third Sunday - 6 Day Riot
New Theory - Washed Out
Opposite Of Adults - Chiddy Bang
She Wont Let Me Fuck - Afroman

I'm so tired, and I swear all I ever say is that I am in fact tired! It's ridiculous - I've done nothing today yet I am still on the brink of slipping into a coma. Marvellous.
I'm not really in a good mood either to be honest, thus listening to a lot of music and ignoring most of the people on my facebook chat list, aha! Plus she's just gone for a hair cut and I miss her already, bless me.
I've also missed quite a bit of goss from school! Aha, always happens when I'm not there - but oh well, I hated that day on the timetable - especially German last!

Anyway, I've got the flow to make a bitch do a cartwheel xo

The Day Off.

Home because mother wants me to sign for the laptop she's ordered, and as I'm home I've managed to get Sam and Devon to come round for the day.
Ah, I've just got to make sure I don't get grounded aha!
Have a good day you beautiful people xo

Today, yo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbk16dKSGGA
I'm in love with this song.

Today, wasn't really that bad; but mathematics was a killer!
The exam wasn't exactly brilliant though. Some of the questions were really stupidly worded and just plain boring to try and answer. It was freezing in the hall too! And the irony was - we were writing about something to do with Antarctica, and it was snowing outside! Wow, I know.

Maths bored the effing life out of me to be honest! I hate learning about finances and that. I'm not good with numbers - in fact, I'm beyond useless and will end up in a dingy flat by myself because I just can't work things out that are important! Or I'll just live with my parents forever.. Actually, from the noise upstairs, I'm thinking maybe not!

I love my girlfriend. Even though she wont come to my house tomorrow, to give me cuddles and miss school with me. Hmm! I get the day off because mother wants me to sign for her delivery, brilliant I know! But you'll have to keep quiet about it! Even though karma will prolly bite me and I'll end up with swine flu or something.

Anyway, I shall go back to being cold, listening to amazing music and chatting to lovelies on facebook chat xo

Exam, LDD's and Luck.

Mock exam for English today, in the hall - with everybody.
I really am not prepared mentally for this. I'm just bumbling about, not knowing what to do with myself. All of a sudden it's dawning on me that our real exams are pretty soon - times going fast and the majority are still all over the place with deciding upon which college to go to. Why does it all have to end? I'm hoping I'll do well, even if it is a mock. I want to carry on with English language for an A level, so I need to do well and have all the practice I possibly can.

It's an LD day today (learning development) and they are definitely the most pointless things on this planet - no one learns anything and we just do.. nothing?
Of course today us year 11's have the English exam, but then the rest of the day we get to do maths! Oh god yeah.. note the sarcasm.

I better eat my toast, drink my tea and go get ready for school.
Wish me luck xo

FACEBOOK, YOU RASCAL!

Why oh WHY do the developers keep changing the layout?!
It's just horrible! I'm sure I'll get used to it soon enough, because we all know that they wont change it back - but it really is the most vile layout they could have chosen. It just looks as if no one has really taken into account that it looks.. shit.
Anyway, I should get off the computer as I want to watch From Hell!
Night xo

Sunday.

Forever laying in when I shouldn't and always getting up early when there's no need. I'm not the only one who is exactly like this, I'm sure.I didn't have to be awake right now as it's only 10:41am, but I am - and it's fine actually. Being awake in the morning on a weekend, is alright?
Anyway, I'm seeing her today, and I'm really excited. You have no idea. I love seeing her, and I haven't seen her since.. Friday?! Ridiculous, I know. Spent most of the evening on the phone to her yesterday though, which was nice. I can't wait to just see her, just so I know she's there. We don't even have to speak, I just like feeling that she's around. Of course then I get into her bed and it's even better aha! It's 3 weeks into it now, it being our 'relationship' and yeah I might sound like one of those bratty girls who count how many days, hours, seconds.. but to be honest - this means something. I appreciate, and value all the things that being with Devon give to me. The things being happiness, the feel of want and need and the obvious; love. So the 3 weeks, yes they might seem like nothing to you - but when you've had the most amazing sensations for some one in the pit of your stomach for over 6 months, and not being able to do anything about it - you ask yourself, is counting 3 weeks (and 1 day) going to do you any harm? And it's not asif I go on about it day in and day out either. I'm just glad that I have some one who loves me and who I know I love back.
Anyway, it's sunday and I'm going to start getting myself together :)
Goodbye, because I need to put some toast in and boil the kettle, y0'! xo

Skins, My Bird and Headaches the Size of GOD.

Skins tonight - meaning I might cry as it's the girls one. (The girls being - Naomi and Emily) I'm excited, scared and not actually prepared if one of them dies! Sad, I know. Lily Loveless is such a good actress though - and bloody good looking! I'll miss her like a bitch if she's the one that dies.

I have such a wonderful girlfriend, you have no idea. Even if we sit and rip the piss out of everything that one another does - we still are in utter love and I adore her completely. Tomorrow, in art and at lunch, should be good cosy, cuddly, lovely times. I'm in love with Devon(L)

Anyway, I'm watching Material Girl! I love this programme, aha!
Gosh, I have such a bad headache - it's making my eyes like twitch..
"Hay crazy lady in the corner! Put some clothes on"
GOODBYE XO

My Favourites.

Not my favourite photograph of myself, though. I look as if I have about 20 chins.
Jasmine Drury - Oh dear god.
Jess Roberts - Yeah thanks, Hayley
Ashleigh Russell - Ahahah
Ashleigh Russell - I look about 20 stone
Jasmine Drury - & I look like a ghoul. What am I looking at?
Ashleigh Russell - You've prolly just seen the ending of my chin :')
Jasmine Drury - Ahahahaha
Got love for these girls, mega xo

I WANT A HAIR CUT.

I really want my hair cut like the lead singers.. but I'm not sure?
Ah! xo

Monday Night, Glam.

It really doesn't get any more fierce for me than sitting at the computer in my Pj's, listening to newly downloaded music on the ol' iTunes. I'm ever so tempted to venture into the world of PROM DRESSES, but I don't know if I trust myself enough, as I know I'll get upset about it, for some surreal reason or other.

I have this feeling, that my moods will be utterly varied this week coming. I hope to stay in my current mood, as it's quite a chipper, quirky, easy-going one - but only time will tell. I feel almost like I should be stressing out? But to be honest, I'm just going to relax and think 'sod it' for tonight. It's Monday, I don't exactly want to do anything too strenuous do I?

GA-GA FOR GAGA?!

I just wouldn't say no..

Happiness.

And the weekend is complete on this beautiful, but tiresome Sunday evening.
I have a feeling the week ahead will bring me so much happiness.
Thank life for friends, love and all that surrounds it.
xo

Has Made Me Stupid..

I'm mad, really bad, but don't tell my mum and dad,
Pucker up; kiss a nut, 'cause it sells to be a slut.
Hear the bass, skinny waist,
Now lets copy Pokerface like,
Whoa Woa Oh Oh Whoa Woa Oh Oh.

- Tik Tok Parody By The Midnight Beast Ft St£fan -

Saturday afternoon, still haven't got a shower yet, listening to music, downloading, chilling. I love not having to do a lot, because I am in fact lazy.
Should be a special weekend, if I can somehow work out a plan to murder dad without going to prison (L) Jokes! Laters.

I'M MAD, REALLY BAD, BUT DON'T TELL MY MUM AND DAD.
xo

Waiting,

It's the waiting that does it for me.
I hate it. Everyone does. But the scenarios that flutter through my thoughts are the things that really mess me up.
I'm sitting now, in the dark - waiting.
I'm waiting for my mother to come and get me, so that she can take me to my Worthing College interview - where again, I will wait in the car, wait in the reception.. wait for them to make a decision about whether I will be able to enroll there.
I'm going to wait on the sofa now.
Goodbye, because if I don't get in - I may aswell be a banana. x

I love.

Probably the saddest thing I've ever done (as in copy and pasting this together) but I'm happy, so I shall not care whatsoever. I'm in love, and have been for a very long time. Finally, it's happening, and I'm already feeling the wonders of being in a relationship with some one you utterly adore, some one you feel in absoloute ore with and some one who just makes you wake up excited for the day ahead. However, cliche or boring - I am in utter love with Devon. I really couldn't be happier.

When I'm with you, I am calm, a pearl in your oyster; Head on my chest a silent smile, a private kind of happiness.

Xx

Who knew Lil Wayne could reduce me to tears..

Okay so it's not just Lil Wayne's music that's getting me teary - it's the fact I've been home all day with my brothers, whilst my mum and dad have been in London and then went to the pub, haven't got anything for our lunches tomorrow and told me they'd only be an hour. I'm not happy, I want to get some fresh air and I have too much going on in my head. I hate feeling like this - happy one day, shit the next. My mood swings would make a roundabout dizzy.

Also, I've done no coursework today. I'm just not in the mood for it. I've just been watching Skins and downloading music. I hate this shit Sunday feeling. MOANMOANMOAN.

Baby baby baby I dont want to,
Ever give you the wrong idea,
Call me up we´ll hang out,
I´m down for whatever,
Tell me am I making myself clear?

Love can be a meaningless emotion,
Pretty words that we´re obliged say,
Rest assured I wont ask for your complete devotion,
Lets not let our hearts get in the way.

Finally, the weight is off our shoulders,
Play for keeps, until the night is over.

Xo

Tonight

Was purely just amazing.

The following are what's keeping me sane right now:
Her,
Lil Wayne - Bed Rock,
The beautiful picture of GaGa that I found,
My best friends,
The thought of being a very happy girl.

'And now we murderers, Because we kill time, I knock her lights out, And she still shine. I hate to see her go, But I love to watch her leave. But I keep her runnin back and forth, Like a soccer team. Cold as a winter day, Hot as a summers eve, Young money thieves, Steal your heart with ease.'

It couldn't possibly get any better for me right now.
I will definitely be falling asleep with a smile on my face.
Xo

Not in a good state of mind.

Ever get those days where you wish you could just get up and look pretty?
Ever get those days where you would give anything just to see that person.
Ever get those days where you know you shouldn't be lazy and just get on with things.
Ever get those days where you want to be out doing something, anything, just so you aren't at home.

I'm having one of those days, and I feel as if no one wants to just leave me alone.
I need some one to talk to, to be with, to comfort me, to be there.

Xo

It's all so.. exciting?

"It's so hard being this pretty"

Thought of the day:
"I wonder if I put the right amount of milk in the tea, it wont take aslong to brew with two teabags" - As you can tell, not the greatest thinker in the world.

So I'm sitting downstairs, on my own, with my bowl of cereal, listening to the rantings of my mother who actually got up somewhat early today. Whatever next!

I need to straighten my hair, but right now, I'm just not in the mood. I think that's called; LAZY. I'll get over it. I hope.

School! Today, inabit. Textiles Textiles Art Art Textiles - Oh sweet joy.
Eviction tonight though, aha - with the added content of seeing my nan too. Wow my life is utterly amazing, full of fantastic things, I tell you.

Cioa for now, because there's no way my hair will look good in those shoes xo

I'm uptight, at times.

Thank god for Cruel Intentions, because without watching the film - I wouldn't have remembered Colorblind by Counting Crows. It's all I can seem to listen to at the moment.

Also; My mock results.
SHAMEFUL.
But this is what I got, I have some serious improvements to make fosho.

Mathematics - D
English - A
English Lit - B
Science - U (I did the wrong exam!)
Art - B
German - D
History - D
PE - D
RS - C
Textiles - E (God knows what went wrong there)


I am covered in skin, no one gets to come in.
Pull me out from inside, I am folded, and un-folded, and un-folding, I am; Colorblind.

So it's that DAY..

Listening to -


Thursday, the shit bit between the horrible Wednesday and the alright Friday.
On top of that, Thursdays are pretty awful days on the ol' timetable too.
At least it's Friday tomorrow, where I can sit for 3 hours and not listen to Miss S. moan at me for not doing enough in Textiles, when I obviously am one of the people that tries most; even if I do get E's in exams! HA HA, what the actual eff?! An E? Last time we did a practice exam I got an A. This isn't right and I will tell her so.
And then I have double art, in which I'll do nothing and Mr R will just moan and try to get us to do things we really can't be bothered to do.

Anyway, I went to Salisbury's, and I swear if there were anymore 'special' people in there, they could just open an asylum up. Fuck the food!
Just sayin'

Tomorrow also, it's the first eviction from the Celebrity Big Brother house and two of my favourites are up for eviction, and without a doubt I know they are definitely the ones going home. Sad times, really.

I write too much about a load of wank.
Goodbye - because no matter how hard you fall, you'll never get a better curry than the ones I get at my nan's house xo

I love conversations like this,

And I love Jasmine for cheering me up a little bit xo

This is getting ridiculous..

I'm joining too many groups and becoming a fan of everything.
Because I can.
And now it's making my page look weird, and I have a proper big OCD about it looking neat.
But I just can't help but click 'become fan'.
It's stupid because I absolutely hate it when everyone else just takes up the whole live feed, but now I'm doing it.

And I'm not happy at the fact we have school tomorrow;
as I have the ugliest face at the moment.
It's actually quite getting me down.

Anyway, this is just the top of my page.

Hope you've have a good weekend.

Essss Ohhh Veeee.

SOV (L)
I'm enjoying Celeb Big Brother, definitely.
And I love Lady Sovereign.

Had a really lovely 3-4 days at Hayley's this week due to the snow and our school shutting down, along with the whole country. God we just can't cope!

Anyway, I'm not at home and quite unhappy at the thought that I might not be seeing her for a very long time.

I'm tired too, which is always shit - but I can't complain as it's my own fault.

I got you dancing, got you doing it, d-doing it; yeah,
I got you dancing, got you doing it, d-doing it; yeah.
Xx

Snow Day.

:) Happy times? xo

Today, I did it..

YES, yes I did! I MANAGED TO WRITE 2009 IN MY ENGLISH BOOK.
Hopefully I'll get into the swing of it.

I've just loaded Avril Lavigne - Best Damn Thing album from 2007 onto my iPod.
And I'm not talking to her.

I don't know what to write, I guess I'm not in the mood.
Hmmm!

I better look nice tomorrow, or I'll commit harry carry xo

Amazing voice.

http://www.myspace.com/roxmusik

xo

Not off to a good start.

First day back at school, I'm prepared physically with books etc!
But my appearence - fuck me, people wont know it's me, I LOOK AWFUL.

So, not happy, atall. In the slightest. NO NO NO.


Rambling on.. Because I look awful.

Goodbye! X

New years reso..

NO! I can't keep to them..

Enjoy this picture of how I think my 'children' would look like, if I accidently got preggers, instead.