Sunday, 30 May 2010

100th post.

Basically, this is my 100th post so I thought I would actually write about something interesting, as I don't really have time to write every night like I wanted to when I first started my blog.

This year so far has been one of the best one's so far, and I know most people say this about every year, but I swear I haven't actually been this happy before. I've had such good things happen to me this year and I am beginning to realise who I am and what I want, which is a first, I'm telling you. I've got a beautiful girlfriend, I've nearly finished school and I have a good future ahead of me. Before that though, I have exams and then a 13 week summer holiday. It is going to be bliss - Sun, sea, girlfriend, alcohol, friends, bbq's, cigarettes and smiles :)

I got home this morning after staying at Devon's on the Friday and Saturday, and just started thinking. Not anything in particular, just the odd thought going round, you know? I miss Devon, have done all day - it's not a nice feeling. I'm talking to Jasmine right now; She does actually fully make me giggle with every post she writes on my wall - it's amazing. I'm also waiting for my Mum and Dad to go out so I can babysit the brother's and their friends, earning dollar of course.

Anyway, I said this post would be interesting; But so far it's been boring. What do I write about for my 100th post? Idea!

100 thoughts;
  1. The sun coming through the net curtains is actually pretty nice
  2. The fact my parents are going out is such a good thing
  3. My eye make-up looks okay today
  4. How comfortable I am sitting on the computer chair
  5. I'm going to have a nice cold refreshing beer when they go
  6. I am going to talk to my girlfriend when they go, on the phone
  7. My head is starting to hurt after putting it in two plaits, then putting it in a bun
  8. My nails are looking better now they are painted
  9. I wish my Dad's voice wasn't so loud sometimes
  10. My ankles hurt from all the walking I attempted yesterday
  11. They need to leave so I can look at this picture of two girls on this girl's Tumblr
  12. Poking myself in the eye was a stupid thing to do
  13. Don't stand behind me, it's irritating
  14. Seriously just go
  15. I haven't actually talked to Devon since 10:30 this morning
  16. It would be nice if she text me, even though I can't text back with no credit
  17. I have hardly any eyebrows but I don't really care
  18. The number 18 is so strange
  19. I need to put loud music on when they go
  20. They are nearly gone, how nice is that?
  21. I should go clear up my drawings that I was doing earlier from off my bed
  22. "I'll give it to you later" - of course you will £10 now please!
  23. I really want to see that picture, like right now - get out of the front room
  24. Why can't I have a computer in my room?
  25. It's 6:15? No way
  26. I swear all I've done today is sleep
  27. I don't like animals - especially not dogs, ducks I like, yes I do
  28. Bye! Finally!
  29. I don't recognise the girls in the photo on the Tumblr - boring
  30. I'm going to turn the TV down, oh wait I'm not - I'm too comfy
  31. Wait, it's annoying me now
  32. I haven't really done a lot today apart from shower, eat, draw and watch Kick-Ass
  33. I need Mum to get me a key cut
  34. I can't remember how many exams I have left
  35. Time is going slow
  36. Oh! I can watch The Mentalist without Mum
  37. I think I actually have 14 exams left?
  38. I'm hungry but I don't know what to eat
  39. No I don't, I have like 9?
  40. Oh my shit, my back hurts
  41. Where's the paracetamol, mother
  42. You are going to get so bored if you read this, but oh well, it's giving me something to do
  43. If my brother screams like that again - I might just take a knife and...
  44. Socks would be a good thing right now, but once again - I am too comfy
  45. I sound proper lazy
  46. Tumblr is so boring today
  47. Oh my shit, I forgot it's Sunday!
  48. I'm going to see how many exams I have left
  49. I hate the amount of xbox's in my house
  50. I also hate running up the stairs to see that I actually have 9 exams left and it was pointless to run up the stairs, and I nearly tripped
  51. Twice
  52. MTV bores the shit out of me
  53. What is Devon up to right now
  54. I fucking hate those "Keep Calm And" things
  55. Sugababe's are actually shit
  56. I'm a right grumpy sod
  57. I'm in pain though
  58. I blame EVE
  59. Yes, if you understand, it's because you're a clever woman
  60. No one interesting is on Facebook
  61. I hate it when Mum and Dad go out, because then I have to pretend to give a shit
  62. It's kinda cold, but kinda hot
  63. I think after I've done this, I'm going to ring Devon because I miss her
  64. I have the most perfect girlfriend, you honestly have no idea
  65. I want a fag but I ran out yesterday
  66. I need that £10 because when I get it - it's going on cigarettes
  67. Having Sky+HD isn't actually that amazing
  68. Oh my fuck that girl is hot
  69. Okay, I'm done
  70. Seventy.. Sev..en..tee.
  71. I wonder what time the rentals will actually be home
  72. It's bank holiday Monday, ah that means Dad is home tomorrow
  73. I guarantee they just get lashed up and come home and make me tidy up or something tomorrow morning and 'help' and she'll make a roast dinner on a Monday, and I will bitch and moan at her because she's an idiot
  74. I guarantee I've spelt like everything in this wrong
  75. Seriously - Facebook is shit on a Sunday
  76. Might just go upstairs again and watch a film, with a cold beer
  77. What time is my brother coming home? Oh well, fuck it
  78. The sun is actually making me smile
  79. I'm smiling
  80. I need a cuddle from Devon
  81. Might just ring her up and be like "Do you fancy a walk?" then get her to walk here haha
  82. I'm so tired
  83. Not got a lot planned for half term but people were talking about getting high? Would be nice, lovely lads
  84. My hair is so retarded
  85. I'm not going to prom, when even is it? I want the after party
  86. Weekend has been really lovely actually
  87. This is taking forever
  88. I just chat shit, all the time, I swear to actual fuck
  89. Why is it that there is like 283937593439 music channels on Sky but every single one is on an advert?
  90. Ah I love this song, have to keep reminding myself to download it - I love Vampire Weekend
  91. I need some new songs on the iPod actually
  92. Could do that tonight
  93. I am quite self-obsessed by the sound of things
  94. Oh the time on my hands today/tonight is slightly ridiculous
  95. Dizzee Rascal is lovely and I am supposed to be gay
  96. I want a tattoo
  97. I can't wait for summer now, this song just makes me want to sit on the beach in the sun
  98. I love my friends, my life and whatnot
  99. Ninety nine is probably my favourite number, not even joking
  100. And finally, my last thought of today, well you know what I mean, (because it's not like I'm not going to think again after this) I LOVE VAGINAAAAA

Joking ;) Anyway, thanks for reading if you did.
Lots of love, take care <3

Wednesday, 26 May 2010


I cry at everything.

That's a lie.

I cry at nothing.

That's a lie.

So, why do I cry then?

Give me a reason, because I can't think of a single reason to cry.

Sunday, 16 May 2010

My Weekend.

I've had such a good weekend, seriously.
On the Saturday, I went to Brighton with Hayley, Jess and Maryanne.
I got some clothes then we got food and sat in the Pavilion Park for a cigarette and a chat.
When I got home, Devon came to mine and we had a talk, cuddle etc and we eventually left to walk back to hers so I could stay the night :)
Sunday - our 4 month anniversary, was purely just.. wow.
I actually adore this girl and she shows me that it is possible to love more than I could've ever imagined, everyday of my life.
I love you, Devon Holland - always, forever and a day.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

I haven't written in ages!

Because Tumblr still has me in it's hands; but I will start writing a lot more, soon!

Recently though, I've had no inspiration.
But I'm not going to go on a downer, I have happy times ahead of me!
And this weekend should be amazingly good, if all goes to plan.

Happy Birthday World, have a great day x

Saturday, 24 April 2010


I hope you're all doing well :)
I haven't posted in ages as Tumblr seems to be the hot spot and blog spot, just isn't.
Went to Char's BBQ last night, was so good with such a great group of people.
Words to descrbe the night:
Afroman, weed, drunk, BBQ, smiles, gee-tar, girlfriend, Vernon, sheesha, menthol's, grass stains, hearty chats, kisses, cuddles, Dave, Adrian, ketchup, fisherman's chair, mum chat, laughter, mattress, beanbag, 'apprehensive' shorts, dragon, vauxhall, home time.

It was bloody good!
And today, with the girlfriend, I shall be at another BBQ ;)

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately.

I've been thinking, I haven't blogged in forever because basically - things are good!
I have nothing to rant about, or even just bitch on the sly to the blogging world about.

I mean, there's no problem with this - but the minority of us know, reading about other people's tragedy is more fun than reading about how happy they are, because of course the best things come from the blogger's that bitch and moan (my opinion entirely, I think)
Anyway, I swear all I've done is sleep, shower and eat at the girlfriend's house this whole week - her mother must be sick of me. It's so strange coming back home and getting into my own bed though.
I keep expecting to be snuggled into from behind, or feel an affectionate hand on my hips, sides, thigh etc. I even expect that when I turn over, I'll see her laying there, just thinking and breathing beautifully. I even spent Easter in her bed because I slept there on the Saturday and then went back that night.
It's now Friday (still in the mind-set for Thursday though, obviously) and I slept at Dee's on the Wednesday.
Thursday was so lush, and that's not even a joke. Dee, Josh, Sam and I went to the beach for the day, just chilling out in the sun, on the stones, smoking (filthy, I know) and laughing as you do.

It was so lovely, to just not care. I didn't give a thought to anything bar where I would place my head and my hands when I was laying down with Dee and Josh.
It was one of those days where you just didn't want it to end, and you don't want to go home.
I felt utterly out of it all day though, and by the time my Mother made me walk to the train station to be picked up - I was in one of the worst moods I've been in for a while.

Dee walked me there and waited with me for a bit. I didn't want to go home. But I couldn't be in such an awful mood around her, though she says she doesn't mind - I just feel as if It's unfair, you know?
Anyway, getting home and putting washing away, then unpacking my bag and finally getting into my PJ's, I felt relaxed - like I could breathe almost.
Mother cooked a curry, but I sat at the table with my head swaying. Although, I did join in with the banter around the dinner table.
As soon as I start to get comfortable, as I lay on my bed in the dark with my iPod on, I start to have mad crazy thoughts because I miss Dee so much. I love her because she keeps me at my sanest.

I never oh my god, but seriously!
Blogging world - hello :')
My mum told my dad that I'm gay whilst I was out with Dee and Sam. She then rang me to 'warn' me that he wasn't happy and that I should probably avoid him as he basically hates me because I put him through so much shit such as being a vegetarian (which he was for 2 years of his life!) and being a psycho, and not talking to anyone in my house (haha) and now I'm a LESBIAN.

"I'm not a lesbian, I just happen to have a girlfriend"
"You're so confusing"
"You love it"

On-going conversation, it's fine.

Today though, he hasn't exactly looked me properly in the eye - but he's had a few jokes with me, so all is well. It's just my mum trying to stir shit up, I think.
Anyway, aha! Not that exciting, but my dad knows! So basically, it's out. Nothing on my conscience, apart from the fact that dad is 'hurt' that I didn't approach him and mum about it 'before telling the whole of facebook' Mums words entirely.

Jesus effing Christ. I'm tired! So I should probably log off everything and go to sleep!
Busy day tomorrow, as I have to finish (somehow) painting my dress, do revision and do some more art prep, which I utterly can't be bothered with - but it has to be done.
MOTIVATION, I think so!

Have beautiful weekends xo

Sunday, 4 April 2010

Sunny Girlfriend Chocolate Love.

I can't believe it is sunny today and all I am doing is sitting at the computer, half attempting to eat some chocolate and listening to the faint sound of the football in the background.
Luckily though, I woke up next to my girly this morning after spending the night with her and Joshie and Sam and Lauran.
It wasn't all so lovely last night though, oh no! Dee was sick because of the 1/4 bottle of rum she downed to herself. I can't deal with sick - it makes me.. well, feel sick. Thankfully though, Joshua could cope and he was the saviour.
I wish I could've been the saviour, but all I could do was laugh and try not to gag.
I felt like a failure to her - like I proved that I can't help. I felt utterly useless, but I just couldn't do anything to make it better.
I cried too, not because she was being sick (though it got to me), but because the alcohol made my insecurities come out to play and Joshua just knows what to say. He's a good lad.
As is Sam, whom I talked to about stuff to when it was just him and I in Josh's bedroom.
When we got back to hers at 11 o clock at night after Josh and Sam walked us home - She stumbled about, trying not to wake her parents up, and brushed her teeth like a mad woman (Maybe too much information, but it needs to be said for the rest of this to sound less-disgusting) and used mouth wash, as did I.
Laying in her arms after an hour of "Give me an hour, and I'll be fine" we kissed and snuggled into each other. Feeling her against me is the feeling I will never forget. I love the way we touch, it fills me with such sensations that I can't speak nor think. And the loving.. just wow.
I love waking up and not saying anything, then being surprised when her arm falls across my tummy and makes its way to my hand, with our backs still facing each other.

Right now I can see a tiny bit of sun in my back garden, where my cat is sitting in. It has been quite a beautiful day today, yet the only fresh air I got today was getting in and out of the car.
Oh well, I want to see D again - so I might persuade mother to take me over.

Hope you all have a wonderful week ahead and have a lovely Easter Day xo