Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately.

I've been thinking, I haven't blogged in forever because basically - things are good!
I have nothing to rant about, or even just bitch on the sly to the blogging world about.
I mean, there's no problem with this - but the minority of us know, reading about other people's tragedy is more fun than reading about how happy they are, because of course the best things come from the blogger's that bitch and moan (my opinion entirely, I think)
Anyway, I swear all I've done is sleep, shower and eat at the girlfriend's house this whole week - her mother must be sick of me. It's so strange coming back home and getting into my own bed though.
I keep expecting to be snuggled into from behind, or feel an affectionate hand on my hips, sides, thigh etc. I even expect that when I turn over, I'll see her laying there, just thinking and breathing beautifully. I even spent Easter in her bed because I slept there on the Saturday and then went back that night.
It's now Friday (still in the mind-set for Thursday though, obviously) and I slept at Dee's on the Wednesday.
Thursday was so lush, and that's not even a joke. Dee, Josh, Sam and I went to the beach for the day, just chilling out in the sun, on the stones, smoking (filthy, I know) and laughing as you do.
It was so lovely, to just not care. I didn't give a thought to anything bar where I would place my head and my hands when I was laying down with Dee and Josh.
It was one of those days where you just didn't want it to end, and you don't want to go home.
I felt utterly out of it all day though, and by the time my Mother made me walk to the train station to be picked up - I was in one of the worst moods I've been in for a while.
Dee walked me there and waited with me for a bit. I didn't want to go home. But I couldn't be in such an awful mood around her, though she says she doesn't mind - I just feel as if It's unfair, you know?
Anyway, getting home and putting washing away, then unpacking my bag and finally getting into my PJ's, I felt relaxed - like I could breathe almost.
Mother cooked a curry, but I sat at the table with my head swaying. Although, I did join in with the banter around the dinner table.
As soon as I start to get comfortable, as I lay on my bed in the dark with my iPod on, I start to have mad crazy thoughts because I miss Dee so much. I love her because she keeps me at my sanest.

OH MY GOD.
I never oh my god, but seriously!
Blogging world - hello :')
My mum told my dad that I'm gay whilst I was out with Dee and Sam. She then rang me to 'warn' me that he wasn't happy and that I should probably avoid him as he basically hates me because I put him through so much shit such as being a vegetarian (which he was for 2 years of his life!) and being a psycho, and not talking to anyone in my house (haha) and now I'm a LESBIAN.

"I'm not a lesbian, I just happen to have a girlfriend"
"You're so confusing"
"You love it"
On-going conversation, it's fine.

Today though, he hasn't exactly looked me properly in the eye - but he's had a few jokes with me, so all is well. It's just my mum trying to stir shit up, I think.
Anyway, aha! Not that exciting, but my dad knows! So basically, it's out. Nothing on my conscience, apart from the fact that dad is 'hurt' that I didn't approach him and mum about it 'before telling the whole of facebook' Mums words entirely.

Jesus effing Christ. I'm tired! So I should probably log off everything and go to sleep!
Busy day tomorrow, as I have to finish (somehow) painting my dress, do revision and do some more art prep, which I utterly can't be bothered with - but it has to be done.
MOTIVATION, I think so!

Have beautiful weekends xo