Wednesday,

I’m going to start off by saying how much I hate being ill - but it’s okay because I have super noodles, summer fruits drink and Neon Hitch in my ears. Wednesday’s are shit. Hump day? It’s just.. awful.It rained a bit, was proper windy all day and my textiles teacher basically hates me.She doesn’t get what having no confidence does to people.Oh I swear my insecurities will hold me back forever.Or as Eminem says “My insecurities will eat me alive”I need a cuddle or something, it’s nicht so gut.And I am deciding on whether going in to do textiles all day tomorrow on the first day of the holidays would be a good thing, since I have 19 days to make a dress and evaluate it.I love my girlfriend. I love how she tries, no matter how she’s feeling, to deal with me. She’ll hate that I say the word ‘deal’ as she thinks that she doesn’t have to ‘cope’ with me, as she loves me and that’s what she’s there to do - but it’s not fair on her. But she does make me happier. I just wish I did the same for her. Uh. Well, I’m going to change the song now, eat some noodles and whine about my life to some one else. Love x

Monday.

When I woke up, I was happy. It was dark because the clocks went forward and last night I had the cutest conversations with D and some lovely chats with Sam.
I was looking forward to school, until I saw my face in the mirror - ergh, I hate my skin.
Then the whole day was awful, and the last part was by far the worst.
I'm going to not moan - I'm dealing with it :)
XO

Uh, Tonight - Yes PLEASE.

Party tonight, lovers.
I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay awake though, as I slept at Dee's last night, but didn't actually fall asleep until 4am just gone.
Tonight, there's a party @ Josh's :) It's going to be good, at his mum's flat, with like 100 people, people that are actually ALRIGHT.
Lewis just said I could meet him at 7 tonight, because hardly any of us know where this flat is! It should be a funny night - as I am one of the lads and it's going to get 'messy' ahah, oh dear fuck :') I make myself laugh..
Plus I'm going to be sleeping at Dee's again tonight.

Oh and I found a good remix today by WTCC (WasteTimeChasingCars) on YouTube, as I subscribed to him and have not since regretted it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXo-6d2awOY&feature=sub
Have a good weekend, lovely lovely people XO

My Doctor's Trip.

Wow, who knew going to the Doctor's could give me so much to blog about!
Firstly, I would just like to say - I got my prescription ;)
Secondly, I want to tell you all about the people I shared a waiting area with.
So, here we go.
When my mother and I arrived at the surgery, there were about 5 different sets of people all waiting to see various doctor's, as you do. There was a couple next to us, who obviously had no problem with saying exactly what they thought in public. There was a giant of a man, who was sitting reading Reveal. There was a woman with lovely cared for hair, but looked like the "I fell off and seriously injured my fringe" woman. There was also a woman who kept getting up to change her seat and lastly, there was a woman in a wheelchair with a carer, but the woman was blind and deaf and kept saying "I can't see" and "What's that noise". It was awful, because I felt so sorry for her. She didn't have a clue what was going on and to top it off, her carer looked like a cartoon hippo! She was a right monster and kept telling the elderly lady that she needed to sit and be quiet. I just kept looking at my mum as if to say "What a bitch!" and my mum would roll her eyes.
I was getting impatient when everyone was seeing their Doctor's, but I was still in the same seat, feeling like shit. Later on, another couple came in after those 5 had gone and the woman's voice was all husky and lovely and her husband made me think of him sitting in the middle of a lake, fishing 'till his heart was content. So cute!
It turns out, I was half an hour early, but still sat there for 50 minutes! And then my appointment only lasted 5 minutes at the maximum, no word of a lie.
Now I'm sitting at my computer, my mum has gone back to work, I'm home alone, with my PJ's on, drinking tea with a hat on. I think I may go take a rest now - what a hectic morning ;) XO

I don't like being ill.

I'm not at school today as I was in a right state last night, because I felt so shit.
It came out of nowhere. I was happy all day, well as happy as I can deal with - then I went to art after school and suddenly it hit me. My head went weird, I felt sick and I just needed to go home.
After a 20 minute wait for my mum to come and pick me up, I had to wait in the car park of Iceland, fun! But at least she brought me food with her. When I got home, I just got into bed.
I haven't felt that awful - like, I just couldn't cope anymore - in a very long time.
I cried so much, it was ridiculous and it took everything out of me.
So today, waking up - I just got a shower, felt even worse and asked mum if I could just get back into bed. The worst part of it all today, on top of feeling like this, I have to go to the Doctor's anyway to ask to be put on the pill. Aha, it's funny because my brother was like "But she's a lesbian! She won't get pregnant!" I found it hilarious anyway. But the reason I am being asked to be put on it is to regulate me, hopefully for exams and it won't stress me out knowing it's coming. Anyway, that's lovely! But oh so true.
I'm going to go and lay down now. I love you all xo

I Love You Phillip Morris,

Best film I have seen in a while. So sweet, so beautiful, so weird and wonderful, and best of all it made me laugh and cry. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor are just stunning.
Also, I got to catch up with Hayley which was utterly lovely :))! I love and miss her.

Goodnight XO

I was also tagged in this photo on Facebook tonight too from the other day when we were sat on the field at lunchtime in the sun. I LOVE DEVON.

Ohai Monday. Oh that rhymed!

I can't believe it's Monday again already!
And I'm sure I say this every Monday - But seriously, I have to do a controlled piece of German coursework today, and I am in no way prepared for it.
Save me? I will love you forever, trust me.
But you should wish me luck <3

Anyway, the only good thing about today is that I get to see my girl.
Have a good day xo

Weekend.

I have had a lovely weekend :)
Even though I felt pretty awful, in pain etc - D has managed to make this weekend pretty special. Saturday I went to hers, then we met up with some people, and then being the total brat I am, she took me back to hers because I didn't feel very well. She is my saviour, to be honest! Proper looks after me, and I love her for it. I don't really deserve her as she's too good to me. Anyway, today, she came to mine and we had another lazy day. Watched lesbian vampire killers, listened to music, chilled, talked, kissed, cuddled, watched more awful tv etc. She makes Sunday's worth it!
It's a shame I didn't get to see Hayley, but we plan to go to the cinema at some point during this week! Which should be bloody good as we deserve a de-stress session.
Anyway, hope your weekends were just as lovely and your week ahead is just as good! xo

Blog Award.

Thanks to "Newbo" I have my first blogger award!

The rules of the award are:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 5 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

1. I love writing, I love being able to write because I have the ability due to schooling and perseverance.

2. I will never dye my hair :)

3. I am utterly in love with my girlfriend, and I always will be - no matter what anyone thinks.

4. I live in my PJ's and I'm really lazy :')

5. I love weekends where one day I am at my girlfriend's house all day, then the next day she's at mine. But then as soon as she goes - I miss her like a mad woman!

6. I'm too nice for my own good at times, but that's because I take into account that other people's feelings are more important than my own.

7. I hope to have many amazing experiences in my lifetime.

So my 5 bloggers are:

.WEAR ME OUT. - she makes me smile quite a bit.
At the edge of the ocean - she's different :)
KNITLIFE - the pictures she posts are amazing.
The Weird & Wonderful - i love her.
..this modern love. - - just wow :')

XO

"When I was 15, I sat in my girlfriend's bedroom and the world was none the wiser.."

I love coming to Devon's. It's quiet, peaceful. It gives me space to think, even if my heart is racing due to the fact being in her company makes me want to scream. It's surreal. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the fact that if and when I get older, I will have memories with this girl and like they say; "the best part of a memory is making it." Hope you're having gorgeous saturday nights. XO

Weekend Special - Music, Hair + My Coming Out Story - Lushhh.

I was just thinking, as I sit in my Pyjamas on this Saturday morning (Yes morning, I am awake before 12!) of how many music artists can make me; tingle. I love that word, I love feeling like it too. Yes tingle.
It's the sensation that feels so much better when I'm with Dee. But it's nowhere near as perfect as it is when I'm with her, mind you. So, singers that make my legs go to jelly and my head feel heavy, my arms go numb and my face hurts from smiling;

1. Regina Spektor - I heard of her when I was in Year 8, so I was around 13. I was on MySpace one day and a gay guy that I was friends with had the song 'Fidelity' by her on his profile. I instantly fell in love, and didn't understand why I hadn't heard of her until that day. I quickly started downloading and learning the lyrics and then as the time went on bought two albums and downloaded the others. I will always love her beautiful voice and fantastic lyrics. If I had an idol, it would be her. No doubt about it.

2. Santogold - When I was in Year 9, I turned 14 in the July and instantly bought her album from Zavvi in Brighton with Hayley. I listened to it over and over, each song filled me with joy and some sort of gorgeous emotion. It was my summer album, and recently I found a stunning remix by DJ Mehdi, of Lights Out and I fell in love with it. It's made me want summer to come even quicker too! Santi White is definitely an inspiration.

3. Lykke Li - She's so beautiful and talented. I would marry her music in a heartbeat. Her voice is so strong, but so subtle and the tones to her voice make me tingle! I can't help but either cry or smile until I can't feel my face anymore when I'm listening to her beautiful melodies. She certainly is an interesting charachter and a fantastic songwriter. Such a great artist.

4. Kid Cudi - Now I know what you're all thinking. Kid Cudi? Because of that god awful song he did with Crookers? But no, that's not why I love him. His songs are full of amazing different stories that are upbeat and make my 'heart' feel joy. The song Up, Up and Away makes me feel vibrant and re-freshed. And when I hear Down & Out, it makes me feel a little lower. But that's why I love him - he makes me feel something.

5. Lady Gaga - So it's not her music that I'm inspired by, nor her clothes but her dancing. I don't know why, but when I see her dance in her videos, something comes over me and I can't help but love her! Her music is pretty exciting, but it's not for me, though they are catchy and I find myself humming them through lessons. I only like her clothes when she has little on, but I won't go any further than that! She's talented, and an inspiration to girls (and boys) and I hope she does more then well in her lifetime.

So they are my five favourite artists and I'm not bothered if you do not agree, as every one's opinion is different. :)

Next thing I want to write about is my hair. I love people who try to be polite about my hair. Nowadays I'm not phased by the colour it is, as it makes up part of who I am. "You know Ashleigh, the ginger one" Yes, that is me and I wouldn't dye my hair to spite anyone. I had it cut yesterday and I was really upset beforehand because it had grown so long and I didn't want it to be all chopped off, but when I came home, dried and straightened it, I fell in love with it. It's healthier, tidier and it's not too short!

Oh and I love how I've never told my 'coming out' story to BlogSpot before. Well I'm sure I haven't. So I'll tell you. It's not much of a story as such, but it was a big thing for me, if you like. So, I knew from the age of 11 that girls were pretty hot and that it was 'wrong' to like them in that way. I didn't tell anyone of course because at the age of 11 it was the whole 'going up to big school and making new friends' stage of life. I remember getting to Year 9 and telling my closest friend's that I thought I liked girls, which of course was weird but did nothing to our friendships. Last year, I told more new people in my life that I was Bisexual. They thought it was pretty cool and no one minded and I felt somewhat accepted already, so when it came to 'coming out' with my girlfriend this year, I lost no friends and the amount of 'likes' and 'comments' on the 'relationship change' on Facebook was lovely aha! Then of course going to school on the Monday, I walked through the door of my tutor and the first comment from my friend Jess was "Are you dyking out with Devon" because of course, I kept mine and Devon's 'thing' quiet with only Hayley knowing the ins and outs of everything. Before Devon and I got together properly though, in October our friend had a birthday party with two other boys and basically everyone I was friends with and talked to went. Devon and I had known about our feelings about each other since May because one of her closest friend's had told me she liked me but would never admit it, so I told her I liked her. I guess it was curiosity, but I did have some feeling's for her and wondered what would develop if she told me the truth. To my surprise she told me she had liked me for a while and soon after, the feeling's between us both did grow and I even told her I was in love with her. Of course, we had the society/school/parents thing hanging over us and we didn't do anything about it. We met up secretly but that was as far as it went, as out relationship was basically over Facebook. So going back to the party.. That night we had our first kiss. We were both pretty drunk, so it wasn't a confidence thing. But as the night went on, I ended up crying at her because she is one of those people who can't properly express her emotions. The Monday at school after that weekend was so awkward. We resolved things and the relationship moved on. It was only until February of this year that we got together properly, and I love growing and learning new things with D. She's my anchor, my first love - and no matter how tacky that sounds, it is true. I love how also; I 'asked' Devon to be mine whilst we were standing on a pathway between tree's, whilst it was lashing down with rain, underneath my umbrella. My exact words were "So do you wanna be my girlfriend?" In the most high-pitched voice I could possibly imagine, because I was so nervous and giggly. To my amazement she accepted ;) I'm so romantic, aren't I? Anyway, I came out to my Mother two weeks after getting together with Devon. I always knew I'd be able to tell my Mum as she is one of those people to accept things even if it messes with her head for a bit. That night, she didn't believe me. I told her after school, whilst eating a sausage roll (ironic?) I had to show her my Facebook for her to understand. It was weird. I remember thinking "Have I just fucked up my whole relationship with my mum?" So I went out. I just walked. I went to Hayley's and told her about it and it made me feel so much better. Then when I got home, my Mum was acting exactly as if I hadn't told her, and that's when I knew things would be okay! I also loved that when I told her she said "Well atleast you can't get pregnant" and "I should have never of let you play football" :') She urge's me sometimes to tell my Dad, but he's a traditional man and I can't figure him out. I'm his little girl, first born. I'm supposed to get good grades and have a family later on. Make him proud you know? He's always said he'd support me in whatever I wanted to do, like when I used to play football etc. I'd love to tell him, but I don't know. And that's the worst part. That 'not knowing' But I'm sure I will eventually tell him and I will feel better for it. I don't want people to think it's a phase just because I am 15. It's not a phase. I know I like girls, and it isn't going to just go away with age. When I know something, I know it, and that's it.

Anyway, I think I've talked too much and you probably gave up half way through reading this, but I don't mind. I felt as if I needed to write it :) Hope you all have beautiful weekends, you beautiful people XO

For Summer,

I want my hair to look like Florence's in this picture! Plus I think the girlfriend would love me even more if I was to look a little bit more like her ;) Just sayin' xo

Gaga, girlfriend and other lovely stuff.

So I finally caved in and watched the 9+ minutes of Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce - Telephone.
I'm so glad I did - LADY GAGA IS SO FUCKING HOT.
I've fallen further in love with her, no word of a lie.
The song was and is awful - but the video, I just wouldn't say no!
I loved the bit at the beginning with the two butch guards too;
"I told you she didn't have a dick"
"Yeah, lucky for her"
Ah I'm so obsessed with Gaga, you have no idea.

So me and the girlfriend are back to normal, which is fucking lush. I hate 'falling out' with anyone, especially some one I am crazily in love with. It was over pretty much nothing too and it's just not the time you want to be falling out with some one you pretty much have as your anchor. I love her and she loves me, and I love that.
Today we were by the 'lunch room' kissing and the deputy head walks past going "Get off to class, lovers" then realised we were both girls, didn't say anything, D walked off and I went to German - then to my horror - he's observing the lesson! It was so awkward, and I could tell he felt uncomfortable because every time I looked up, he would put his head down and he didn't come over to me and Fraizer to talk to us about our grades.
Anyway, I am getting really into the art exam project now, just finishing a composition and then I will begin to do some observational drawing. It's so exciting and I feel so free, it's brilliant. I am still aiming for a top B, as I'm on a B at the moment, but it could be better. So I'm hoping this exam project will shift me up to the higher end of a B.
Yesterday I found a baby picture of me (well I was around 4) in my dad's mum's garden. I was so chubby! But so sweet and innocent, as you are at that age.
I had a gold locket and my hair all weird. Yeah thanks mum. I was actually quite pretty as a bubba, aha! Hard to believe nowadays.
So I showed the girlfriend, and she was all "Awww that's so effing cute, it's unreal" Aha, I love Dee.
So yes, this has been one of the longest posts I've done in a while.
It's been lovely.
Oh and my song of the week has got to be;- Memories by David Guetta ft Kid Cudi.
I hope you're all having wonderful weeks :) XO

I might like you better if we slept together,

and lord isn't that the truth!

Monday, OHAI.
A week to get out of the way, to lead onto another week and so on;
with pressure, etc etc.

I need to sort out my relationship today, oh yay!
D tried calling me several times last night, but I hung up alot.
Oh dear.
I'm a mess!

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS.
We've all been here, right?

HAVE A GOOD DAY, YOU SMASHING BUNCH.
xo

Hi, this is your Doctor calling, you've got a routine che-..

7:35am.
Ashleigh is sitting at the computer, in uniform, eating marmite on toast and drinking a cup of tea. She is writing a new post, and then she will be off upstairs to straighten her hair.

Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
Friday.

REPEAT. REPEAT. REPEAT.

Routine is a good thing, don't get me wrong - no one could live without it (I certainly couldn't)But after a while, you seem to just want to break the mould and do something a bit different. Unfortunately, this can't be helped, as I'm up at 6ish ever day, showering, doing my make up, getting dressed, drying my hair, making breakfast, packing bag, straightening my hair, teeth brushed, more make up, out of the door - SCHOOL.

I can't wait for college, it's going to be so much more easier when it comes to getting out of the door, because I only have to rely upon myself!

Anyway, better finish my toast and get my backside upstairs!
Hope you all have a good day XO

Iyur, I'm Just A Big 'LESBIANNN' Moan.

Not speaking to her for a whole night is taking its toll.
Shit. I miss her. How ridiculous? Uh, I need her.
Anyway, today was awful as it was the double science, double maths and English day. No one likes these days, I tell you! Aha, and in maths it's just practice exams.
I should stop moaning, but I really can't be arsed with anything.
Tomorrow is going to be shit too because I have double science again, and history! FML :')
And today some sket made a comment, which made me laugh, but also feel like "just accept it you cunt" Anyway, I won't go on about gay rights lmao! I don't really care, all I know is that I have a girlfriend and she makes me ridiculously happy.
Been watching Summer Heights High all night, it's so shit, but it's like, you have to watch it.
But yeah, at least I get to see her tomorrow though..
GOODNIGHT xo

My Weekend Was Lovely, How Was Yours?

This weekend, as in Friday to right now, has been a mixture of emotions. No tears, but a slightly deranged concoction of, just, wow. Friday was Lois' party, at which there was obviously alcohol. No hangover, a massive smile on my face and love buzzing around my body. That's best described as perfect in my mind. Then there was the massive getting up on a Saturday morning to do coursework - Which I did! Up at 10, doing History and Science coursework, getting it done, being happy. Later on my parents had friends over and I was in my bedroom when BAM! a million ideas for the art exam hit me like a a thirty tonne train and I just knew that I was onto a positive thing. Tonight I got to see the girlfriend too, which always makes me extraordinarily happy. I will go on about her now; Devon, makes me the happiest girl. And I know everyone says that about the person they are dating/seeing, but she does. I only have to feel her near me, and that's it, I'm completely in awe. She makes the most retarded, but cutest faces in the world, and I adore her. She makes me feel comfortable, which is the most important thing to me. She makes me feel loved, always, anytime of the day - she gives me sensations that I can't even explain. I am utterly, completely and truly in love with Devon.
Anyway, I should sign off Facebook, make my lunch then get into bed.
Hope you all had beautiful weekends! xo

Ohai, I Love Santi White.

I will love this woman until I die, honestly. Her music excites me, her voice inspires me and the remixes of her songs absolutely knock me off my chair, adore her, completely.
Lights Out - Santogold (Dj Medhi Remix) <3 It's stunning and has got me ridiculously excited for summer! God bless, Santi White.

Hope you are all having a darling weekend ;) XO

Jasmine, You Make Me Smile.

Monday wasn't too bad, but we'll see how the week goes.
I feel like a bitch this week.
A real, big, fuck off, huge BITCH.
XO